Mr Chairman, these are trying times. 

But no weapons fashioned against you shall prosper. However, Mr Chairman, the chickens are coming home to roost. Any grasshopper caught by the noisy okpoko must be deaf. Some have said that when the busybody public is tired of lamenting, they will focus on finding food. But Mr Chairman, you have to find out how water entered the stalk of the ugboguru. A stitch in time saves nine. 

My condolences. Your agent was shot during a midnight sting in Onitsha. Rumours swirled. By the time the EFCC reacted, unpatriotic people had seized the reins of public opinion. Tardiness, tardiness. Our ancestors used to say, ‘If a man acts quickly, katakata will not meet him.’ We don’t pray for such calamities, but the agency must act swiftly next time.  

 I don’t agree your agency was confused. I don’t agree that the agency was trying to cook up a story, either. I prefer to believe you were reaching out to the bereaved family in line with best practices. And possibly, the telephone network proved difficult. It is only you that knows the truth. However, that silence wasn’t golden. The result is messy. Rather than mourn the young man who laid down his life in service of the country, aproko people are now asking questions about the integrity of the agency. But can you blame them? Trust has been eroded, Mr Chairman and the communication was atrocious. 

Some said the incident happened because your agents invaded the premises at an ungodly hour like unknown gunmen. Others said the EFCC agents jumped the fence for a private fishing expedition in the dead of the night like bounty hunters. In the beginning, the EFCC wasn’t a nocturnal organism. What could be responsible for this metamorphosis? If only no life were lost. The agency dithered and allowed the public to gobble up the other rancid narratives. Now, rather than empathise and worry about the new dangerous dimension, many are criticising the EFCC for reducing itself to an anti-yahoo yahoo agency. This is not good for the agency.

Mr Chairman, I know you sometimes feel like teaching these critics a lesson. But you must be careful. You need to win them over. And the only way to do that is to show balls and mettle against the most corrupt and powerful politicians. I will come to this later. The public believes you are a willing tool in the hands of the presidency. It’s not a good perception. You are a pastor. I know they ought to have appreciated your dilemma in that incident.

After all, you had outlawed night stings. Yet these boys have continued doing night stings against Yahoo Yahoo boys. Perhaps that is when the yahoo yahoo boys gather to fish for Vietnamese and Brazilian women in dating scams. You couldn’t have disowned them in public. Or did you authorise that operation? However, nobody can say with certainty that your agents engage in night stings for private gain. That will be an unpatriotic suspicion. Mr Chairman, there are elephants in the room. If the masses are not with you, you can’t win. 

Mr Chairman, I understand your predicament. But this country needs madmen on that seat. I know that fighting political principalities and power must be quite testing. But you have to show your other side if you have it. You are too gentle with politicians. They are not scared of you. The mice are no longer scared of the cat. The eagle is now almost a tolotolo. My Chairman, the gods are not amused. Your boys are disillusioned. 

People won’t mind you breaking into homes at midnight if you start with breaking into the homes of serving ministers and judges. I know you are a sophisticated man, and that was why you felt that breaking into people’s homes and hotels in the dead of the night looked barbarous. That was why you prohibited it. But If your boys still feel that the only way to stop the scourge of Yahoo Yahoo is by breaking into homes and hotels to catch them  at night, they must extend that strategy to politicians. I’m just giving you a scoop. The public is willing to support you. But you must start by raiding the houses of prominent politicians across all divides. No shenanigans. Once you do that with diligence and earnestness, you immortalise your father’s name.

My Chairman, the status quo is not sustainable. What is good for the goose must be served to the gander. People say your agency has become the pet pigeon of politicians close to the president. Communicate to the public your problems. You are stronger than this. Your handling of Yahaya Bello has entered history books. A man declared wanted by the EFCC came into the headquarters of the agency, loitered and walked out. The EFCC did nothing.

The same EFCC later went out in the night ostensibly to search for the wanted man they allowed to leave. Mr Chairman, up till today, nobody in your agency has bothered to explain this riddle. You can’t imagine how humiliated your agents felt that day. Mr Chairman, don’t sweep such things under the carpet. It stinks. You owe an obligation to the public to explain how water entered Opi Ugboguru. 

Mr Chairman, honest communication is everything. Take another look at the Onitsha incident. The EFCC’s narrative has some gaps. The EFCC’s true narrative is that the EFCC went after Yahoo Yahoo suspects in the dead of the night in Onitsha. After capturing 37 suspects in a serious operation, they approached the apartment of a certain man who does coding and sells medical equipment. The narrative didn’t say if the EFCC had investigated the man before going to arrest him in line with the policy the chairman pledged at the Senate confirmation hearing.

That night, the man refused the EFCC agents entry and opened fire on them, killing an agent. This narrative didn’t clear the doubts EFCC’s tardiness had sown. Was there any connection between this man and the other 37 people arrested in that neighbourhood? Was there a prior reasonable suspicion of criminal activity established against the man before the raid? If the EFCC had such evidence, then what necessitated a night raid? Mr Chairman, the public doesn’t want sophistry. It doesn’t want leniency. It wants you to go after politicians with the same venom.  

Think about this, Mr Chairman. The last time the DSS raided the homes of judges at night, many said it was wrong. A governor left his house to shield one of the judges. Many judges felt the judiciary was desecrated. The last time you tried to raid Yahaya Bello at night, the security details of a governor opened fire on your men, and they withdrew to prevent a loss of life. You didn’t arrest the police officers and prosecute them.

If judges are sacred cows and some ex-governors are deities, are suspected Yahoo Yahoo boys Guinea pigs? If a man alleged to have stolen 70 billion from the public treasury is pampered with backdoor treatments and cushioned soft landings, why do your men break into buildings at 3 am searching for Yahoo Yahoo people? Is your law a respecter of persons? These are the questions the people on the street are asking. The people do not want reprieve for criminals. They want you to go after thieving politicians with a gwogwo mentality. 

Mr Chairman, you are a gentleman, but you must bring out your agbero side now. If you can find it, allow your boys to treat politicians like Yahoo Yahoo people. Many of the folks serving as ministers have files filled with criminal adventures. Tell the public the truth. A good name is better than a long CV. If the presidency has not allowed you to pick up these crooked fellows in the cabinet, tell the public. If presidency has clothed them with pseudo immunity, tell the public. After all, what would it profit a man to chair the EFCC, receive the perks and privileges, and lose his soul? 

Mr Chairman, let me come to the conclusion of the matter. It appears corruption, theft, and general roguery are blooming in your agency. Last year, you dismissed 27 officers. That’s commendable. Now, you are investigating a case of missing 400,000 dollars. Then, another media report says another agent has disappeared with a 30,000-dollar exhibit. Mr Chairman, you need to purge the EFCC. However, to purge the EFCC, you must find the courage to set objective standards.

When the EFCC fails to move against politicians whom agents have investigated and found culpable, it sends a terrible, dispiriting message down its system. Black legs must be found and excommunicated. But if the system engages in selective prosecution, it will inevitably instil moral confusion in the operatives. If the young agents see politicians who ordinarily should be in jail marching around with impunity, thumbing their noses at the agency, they won’t just feel frustrated; they might realise that under the present circumstances, moral rectitude is an exercise in futility. You gerrit now, Mr Chairman? Your system is disillusioned. It’s becoming morally dishevelled. Blame no one. The failure to dispassionately take on the biggest politicians with professional ruthlessness could be the root cause of the whole problem. 

Mr Chairman, the conclusion is that your house is on fire. And you shouldn’t continue chasing rats. You are a good man. A good man should know when to quit. If they don’t let you take the biggest bulls by the horns, you must throw in the towel, honourably. God bless you.